Ashia Ray [they/them]
Ashia Ray is the Head Custodian of Infodumpery at Raising Luminaries, helping caregivers juggle advocacy and care work without losing their marbles.
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DISMANTLING SUPREMACY SERIES
How do you weaponize silence?
Accountability group & family discussion prompts for raising the next generation of kyriarchy-smashers.
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Posts may contain affiliate links and sponsorships, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you.
Welcome to the Dismantling Supremacy Discussion Series
In this Collab Lab discussion series, we talk about supremacy culture and our responsibility to examine it within ourselves and our communities.
Connecting individual struggle & systemic inequality
How do you weaponize silence?
This work is best done in community: Join the Winter Incubator and Summer Luminator for space to work through this together.
This month in the Radical Caregiver Book Club, we’re discussing these quotes from Audre Lorde’s The Black Unicorn & Sister Outsider. (affiliate link)
“your silence will not protect you.”
(from Sister Outsider)
“and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid
So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive”
(from The Black Unicorn)
What topics were forbidden when you were growing up?
What issues did adults around you actively hush you on?
Which issues were implicitly banned – simply by never bringing them up?
Which issues do you feel uncomfortable talking about – and why?
When have you remained silent about injustice impacting you?
We keep silent because we don’t feel safe.
We don’t have the protection, the assurances, and the channels we need to speak up without causing more harm. And that’s totally okay! You don’t owe anyone your peace.
Sometimes we stay silent because we believe speaking up won’t matter. No one will listen, no one will believe us.
How do you create safe ways to speak up?
How do you choose when it’s worth the risk of being minimized and unheard?
How do you benefit from silence?
When have you kept silence about the harm you and your community has done?
What were you hoping would happen if you stayed quiet? What were you afraid would happen if you didn’t?
Sometimes we stay silent not to stay safe, but because speaking up jeopardizes our comfort and access to power.
How have you kept quiet to prioritize your comfort over another’s healing?
How do you let shame keep you silent?
How have you silenced those you have power over?
When have you encouraged a culture of silence about harm?
If your behavior was unintentional – does that change the impact on those harmed?
Commit to Action: Developing Policy, Practice & Skills
What SKILLS do you need to develop to stop weaponizing silence?
Example: Identifying the difference between feeling unsafe and uncomfortable conversations so you can more accurately gauge whether it’s unsafe to speak up.
What POLICY will you follow to develop that skill?
Example: With which people, circumstances, and on which topics can you commit to speaking up?
How can you PRACTICE this policy starting today?
Example: Tell your accountability partners, your family, or comment below – what topics will you speak up about moving forward, and under what conditions?
Relevant Resources
- Join the Winter Incubator – where we dig deeper into demolishing supremacist norms with anarchy calisthenics.
- Join the Summer Luminator to identify ways to contribute, amplify, or break advocacy, parenting, and career initiatives with enthusiasm and joy.
- Curated reading for kids: Silence is Violence – Captivating Kids Stories to Recognize Privilege
@raisingluminaries How to dismantle supremacy culture for the next generation - weaponizing silence #smashthekyriarchy #parenting #supremacyculture #dismantlingsupremacy #luminarybraintrust #silenceisviolence ♬ original sound - Ashia Ray
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ACCOUNTABILITY
Raising Luminaries is rooted in the unceeded land of the Wampanoag & Massachusett People.
Land acknowledgements are worthless without action. So we prioritize amplifying Indigenous-lead resources in our toolkits and reciprocate with donations to the Wôpanaâk Language Reclaimation Project.
AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE
Ashia Ray & Raising Luminaries are participants in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and the Bookshop.org Affiliate Program, affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com, Bookshop.com, and affiliated sites.
Photographs via Unsplash & Illustrations via Storyset, used with permission.
©2014-2026 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.