Stop Spiraling &
Smash The Kyriarchy

It's time to focus your floodlight of overwhelm into a
laser-beam of sustainable action

Already a member? Log in.

Are you modeling healthy activism for your kids
- or saviorism, martyrdom & toxic hustle?

If you are ready to:

  • Stop setting yourself on fire to keep others warm…
  • Release your responsibility for the universe and everyone in it…
  • Cut out the noise and stop spreading yourself so thin…

Change the world in a way that’s life-affirming, not life-threatening

 

Join us this winter to find out who you are – and what joyful disruption you’re really capable of.

can't catch up

Rushing through your kids bedtime routine. Unfinished intiatives. Skipping snuggles to catch up on busywork.

feeling trapped

Not enough support. Never enough time. 'Breaks' are when you catch up on other projects you're falling behind on.

on a trip-wire

No patience with your kids & colleagues. Instead of laughing through conflict you're a rubber-band-ball with layers and layers of resentment.

mother and child on winter mountain hike
How this winter could change everything

How will remember your this stage in your kids childhood?

In a few short years, your kids will be grown and you'll ache for this time again. Instead of regret and frustration over missing out - what needs to happen now so you can look back on these days with satisfaction and joy?

Model healthy ways of showing up & demonstrate how you enjoy being a parent and activist - before it's too late.

Wake every morning feeling calm, connected, and supported

Join the Winter Incubator Caregiver Collective

A 6-week virtual collective where we gather with like-minded parents who won't judge us for showing up as we are (messy, cussing, and probably a little gassy.)

Our opportunity to escape social media, embrace our busy brains and rockthem gently - while reclaim our sense of agency and attention amid exhausting days helping others.

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION

PROTECT YOUR ENERGY

END TOXIC HABITS

Stop doing shit that wears you down

SERIOUSLY -

Slow the fuck down

raising luminaries winter incubator logo
How it works

A Winter Unlike Any Other

You are more than just a caregiver and an activist here to help others.

This is a brave space to reclaim your time, center your needs, and acknowledge what you want - to own your identity and the role you play in giving and receiving beyond parenthood and busywork.

Together with a small group of parents on the same path, we gather to confront our outdated coping mechanisms through guided self-reflections - and share the tools that have (and haven't) worked for us.

We tailor our objectives and resources each winter to suit each unique member's needs - with a focus on reciprocity, courageous transformation, and not taking ourselves too seriously.

Join us this winter if you're ready to stop reacting to the flood of feeds, notifications, and requests for help as if you're the sole manager of the universe and everybody in it.

If you're willing to slow down and start responding with intention - this could be the winter that changes everything.

ABOUT US

Our Community

We are radically progressive parents, caregivers and educators raising the next generation of kind & courageous leaders - while simultaneously creating a world worth inheriting.

If you're tired of the shallow performance of social media shares and 'diversity' picnics, and to integrate social justice into your family life from the roots up - welcome to the Winter Incubator Collective.

masked mother and child in carrier

Self-Advocates

You're tired of playing the model minority and token friend - and are ready to start identifying and centering your own needs and wants over the comfort of those in power.

smiling woman with furry hood

Community Organizers

You're ready to stop taking personal responsibility for others' failure to show up, and are ready to set boundaries with your collaborators and the people who benefit from your labor.

baby high-fiving father

Accomplices

De-centering yourself and conflicting calls for allyship have left you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and confused. You're ready for a brave space to be seen as a whole person.

Let's Show Up For Each Other Beyond Likes & Shares

WHAT WE WORK THROUGH TOGETHER

What To Expect

WEEK 1

Permission

Determine your brave space practice & learn when and how to center yourself vs. centering others.

WEEK 2

recovery

Identify self-defeating behavior and co-regulate yourself and those around you.

WEEK 3

Priorities

Cut through decision fatigue, anxiety, and over-thinking to clear to-do list clutter.

WEEK 4

demolition

Identify & release toxic habits you're ready to let go of.

WEEK 5

repair

Tackle upcoming initiatives without fear of failure, abandonment, and disconnection.

WEEK 6

commitment

Detail policies & skills to protect your energy through the rest of the year.

2024 SAVE THE DATES | 6 WEEKS

January 8th - February 16

Live Hangouts Fridays
1-3 pm Eastern
2-4 pm Central
3-5 pm Pacific

All other events asynchronous & flexible at your own pace.

INVESTMENT

Sliding Scale Membership

The one-time cost to join our annual 6-week winter collective is $1400, which includes lifetime access to our community and member resources.

The cost of your membership supports the free resources Raising Luminaries provides beyond our collectives. But if cost is a barrier for you, check out our sliding scale membership opportunities.

WINTER 2024

Bonus Resources

Registration this year comes with free unlimited access to a few extra perks. Access any time at your own pace.

Guided Activities

Video Trainings

Discussion Series

Ashia Ray

About Raising Luminaries

I'm Ashia Ray (they or she), Head Custodian of Raising Luminaries, Founder of Books for Littles & Co-Founder of the Student Ignition Society and a bunch of other little projects. This here is my face.

I create accessible digital communities for parents struggling to find a place where we can show up as our full selves. Particularly those of us  who don't fit into the supremacist mold of binary identities: multiracial, class migrants, nonbinary, 'but-you-don't-look-disabled'-disabled parents. And all the folks who have grown tired of moderate activism spaces but don't feel quite ready to lead a decolonizing salt march.

Words coming to mind for describing the incubator

Intimate. Transformational. Community.

"There’s something about the intimacy and the accountability that comes from connecting with others on this journey in weekly community-building sessions.

Some of what makes it special really is that it’s a commitment you can make for 6 weeks to go deep with a group of people who care passionately about raising families to transform the world we live in.

And we can’t do it alone - so this intimate community leads to transformation from thought to action.”

Rachel G.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Info & What-Ifs

"I would like to again reiterate how absolutely amazing this was. And this thing that you have created is just killer. It's so good. The hilarious videos. The gorgeous guidebooks. "

"There's an element of delightful surprise like, ‘What will Ashia do today? How will they continue this week’s theme’… And then, ‘Oh, I didn’t expect that!'"

"This just absolutely sparkles. It's so good. It's such good stuff. There's no possible way to express how great of a thing you have made here."

Tricia L.

  • Any caregiver who ‘parents’ is welcome – particularly folks who are often excluded from traditional social justice spaces through supremacist heirarchies and binary gatekeeping.
  •  
  • Members are expected to have a cursory understanding of systemic oppression (ex: oppression is systemic, and we are all responsible for dismantling it), have the self-awareness to be mindful of social power and our individual and group privilege.
  •  
  • If you’re not sure whether you are welcome in this space, let me know what’s on your mind so that I can provide more information.
  • “The people who belong here aren’t sure exactly where they fit in and what their next step should be – who care more about figuring out how to show up in the world in the way that’s the most benefit and the least harm than being perfect or having everything solved.”
  •  
  • – Tricia L.
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  • Even if we would really benefit from gathering together – if you are so strapped for time or resources that you can’t meet the lowest end of our sliding scale or gather once a week for a live hangout – you’ve got more urgent problems to address at the moment!
  •  
  • So if you’re up to your neck in crisis – know we’ll be here next year ready to welcome you with open arms.
  •  
  • Otherwise –
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  • This is not a 101-space, and most of us have done some reading, a bit of volunteering, and even some organizing. But if you *already know everything* about social justice and parenting, this is not the space for you.
  •  
  • We strive for accessible education – but if you’re looking for polite, restrained, inoffensive, and perfectly-executed conversations with elegance and poise – this is not for you.
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  • We acknowledge our children hold different identities and challenges than us – so if you’re parent with privilege who co-opts the targeted identities of your children , partner(s), or friends for attention, clout, or pity – this is not the space for you. (This means you, Autism Warrior Moms and White Savior Parents).
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  • We believe ALL kids are good kids, all family constellations as ‘normal’ – but if you call your family as ‘the gold standard’ and don’t think identity, particularly holding multiple targeted identities – impacts our day-to-day lives, this is not for you.
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  • We hold strong values and love to share what we’ve discovered – but if you feel like you’re ‘winning’ life and have figured out the ‘right way’ to do activism, parenting, or being a human in the world – this is not for you.
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  • We revel the opportunity to wear the ‘fancy’ earrings and our favorite sweater – but if you’re not comfortable with other members showing up messy and covered in applesauce, or have no patience for folks asking questions about things you’ve already figured out – this is not for you.
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  • We call in with kindness – but if you’re looking for polished, refined, and 1-2-3 checklists of education from a ‘nice’ person of color who will blow smoke up your ass about what a good white person you are – this is not for you.
  • Our 2024 Winter Incubator Collective starts in January and ends in February.
  •  
  • If these dates don’t work for you – join the wait list and I’ll let you know when future seasonal collectives are coming up. You can unsubscribe anytime.
  • We’ll host six weekly live hangouts – where we can connect in real-time and have deeper conversations guided by our weekly topics.
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  • I won’t let you overwork and then crash and burn. Expect to set aside 2-6 hours each week, depending on how deeply you’d like to engage.
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  • The rest of the materials for each week come in the form of video messages and resource toolkits that you can check out at your own pace.
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  • To connect with other members, we’re using the Marco Polo sharecast & group chat, an asynchronous video messaging app.
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  • Which means we can to watch, re-watch, and reply to each other at our own pace, from anywhere – and any time – whether you want to spend 5 minutes a day, or more – is up to you.
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  • Our resources and reflection process are designed to be revisited each year, or as needed to come back to and build upon what you’ve learned. So you’ll have lifetime access to the resources – which means you can’t fall behind.
  • We’re gathering together because we feel like we’re constantly scrambling to keep up,  compelled to produce and go-go-go to uphold supremacy.
  •  
  • We’re not doing that here. There is no falling behind.
  • The only commitment we ask is to show up for each other in our six weekly live hangouts. 
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  • You’ll have year-round access to the resources and resource portal if you need to take a break and come back to it.
  • We’ll have six live hangouts, an ongoing asynchronous video group chat, and a comments section to start discussions each day.
  •  
  • So – plenty of different ways to connect, and it’s normal to miss a hangout or two.
  •  
  • So as long as you can respond and share feedback once a week in a format that’s accessible for you, that’s how we show up for each other.

You’ll have online access to the portal all year-round, for as long as it exists – that means access to the live hangout recordings, scaffolding resources, and reflection activities so you can process them at your own pace.

  • Our live hangouts are deeply interactive and not designed for passive consumption. We include 3-8 members in each cohort to build strong, interdependent relationships between the group. 
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  • I tailor the resources for each collective to be accessible for every member’s accessibility needs and individual goals.
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  • We grow through developing relationships and building trust – so it’s vital each member has ample time to share and show up for each other in our live hangouts.
  • For folks who enjoy a real-time accountability check-in, we hang out on Zoom for 1-2 hours once a week on Fridays at 1pm, for six weeks, to discuss the reflections of the week.
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  • I record the sessions and will send private links for folks who missed the hangout or would like to review it.
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  • We use automatically generated live captions on Zoom and I send members transcripts from the video after our hangout.
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  • Unfortunately we can’t afford a live ASL interpreter at this time.
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  • For folks who find chatting with n ew friends stressful – we establish group norms and guided discussions to shape our time together. There is no need to perform, stay anything brilliant, or be charming 🙂
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  • We’re aiming for cozy, we know kids will interrupt us. We can gather with warm mugs of tea or cocoa. Or Vodka in a mug, no judgement. Whatever works for you. Everyone has different ways of finding comfort in new spaces.
  • For a 6-week collective, the enrollment fee is priced at a sliding scale starting at $1400 all the way down to $400 for multiply-targeted folks experiencing financial hardship.
  •  
  • Investing in deep work guided by disabled BIPOC is one way we distribute power, hold ourselves accountable, and participate in interdependent economics.
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  • Your enrollment fee allows me to create accessible resources that tie this collective together. 
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  • Of course you can cobble together and create your own resources, coordinate accountability group meetings, and figure this out on your own – but knowing what to cover, in what order, and orchestrating trust-building for an entire group of people with varying accessibility needs on your own can be confusing and frustrating.
  •  
  • Our collectives are designed to carry us together through a relationship-building process, building upon each week from start to finish. So you don’t have to spend your scarce time, energy, and mental bandwidth figuring out how to do it yourself and facilitating group conflicts. 
  •  
  • The actual cost to keep the collective sustainable is $1400 for each member, and memberships below that price are limited.
  •  
  • Please read the full sliding scale guide to see if you qualify for a lower cost.

Collective members get:

> Weekly video messages to kick off reflection & action

> Interactive downloadable discovery reflection guides

> Asynchronous voice, text, and video chat room to connect with members, share ideas, and ask questions

>  Weekly guided live hangouts to reflect, process, and break down integrating activism and parenting easy steps

> A 1-on-1 live collaboration & session with me (Ashia) to streamline & simplify your commitments and help you convert intention into action.

> 3 months access to the Luminary Brain Trust

> Follow-up seasonal check-ins to help you carry this work through the year

> A certificate of badassery after following through on the commitments you create for yourself.

> Year-round access to all the Winter Incubator resources in our online portal for as long as the portal exists.

  • In the unlikely event that we’re WAY TOO POPULAR and get more than 8 members who want to join us, we can split a larger group into two smaller cohorts for live hangouts.
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  • And you can always register now to save your spot, but then let me know if you’re willing to delay your membership until next year for anyone who needs to join us ASAP.
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  • Most importantly – we need you to show up if you can to make this project a success so we can continue to offer it to folks in future years. So if you want to join us – DO IT!
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  • If by our sixth week, you have engaged with the resources and reflections to the best of your ability, you’ve shown up to the live hangouts, and it’s still not for you, send me all of your completed discovery activities before the end of the collective, and I’ll send you a full refund.
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  • Since there is such limited space in the incubator, I can’t offer refunds if you just don’t engage with the work or show up to the live hangouts, since that’s a limited space we can’t retroactively replace.
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  • For more info, check out the full refund policy.
  • The resources I provide for each member are designed to be accessed by a single person only.
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  • If you’d like to join the collective with a friend or a group, create separate memberships for each individual.
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  • If you can’t afford the cost of enrollment, that’s why I offer a sliding scale.
  •  
  • Sharing locked content is a violation of the terms & conditions (and it’s stealing).

Enrollment is closed for the 2023 collective, but join the waitlist and I’ll send you updates before enrollment opens for our upcoming seasonal collectives.

Still curious?

By the end of this winter, you will

(probably not)

FIND THE PERFECT 90-DAY HEALTHY WINTER MEAL PLAN EVERY MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY IS WILLING TO EAT - CONVINCE YOUR KIDS TO STOP WHINING - TALK YOUR XENOPHOBIC AUNT INTO VOTING AOC IN 2028 - COMPLETELY DEMILITARIZE THE POLICE - FIND YOUR KID'S FAVORITE MITTEN - NO NOT *THAT* MITTEN, THE *OTHER* MITTEN! - BECOME AN OLYMPIC SNOWBOARDER - SUCCESSFULLY CONVINCE AN ARROGANT WHITE MAN YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR FIELD OF EXPERTISE THAN 12-YEAR-OLD EDGELORDS REDDIT - EXORCISE THE GHOST WHO STEALS SOCKS FROM YOUR DRYER - END THE LEGALIZATION OF ABA THERAPY - CONVINCE YOUR KIDS TO WIPE THEIR BOOTS OFF BEFORE JUMPING ON THE SOFA - GET THE CAT TO STOP BARFING IN YOUR SHOES - SINGLE-HANDEDLY END THE RUSSIAN INVASION OF UKRAINE - BECOME LACTOSE TOLERANT - PROTECT EVERY SINGLE IRANIAN FROM THE MURDEROUS REGIME OF THEIR DICTATORSHIP - CURE YOUR SEASONAL DEPRESSION - EAT ALL THE CAKE (THAT YOU WANT TO EAT) - CONVINCE YOUR PARTNER TO STOP INTERRUPTING YOUR 'QUIET TIME' TO ASK QUESTIONS THEY COULD JUST GOOGLE - FIX THAT BROKEN KNOB IN THE BATHROOM

But you CAN become the leader your kids are proud to follow

Join the email list to get notifications before enrollment opens for our next collective.

Want to try it out first? Check out the full refund policy.

Let's collaborate

Join the free Benevolent Incendiary Society and get monthly email updates when we publish new podcasts and family action resources.

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE

Ashia Ray & Raising Luminaries are participants in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. We’re also also an affiliate of Little Feminist Book Club and Bookshop, and you’ll find affiliate links for them on this site, too!

©2022 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.

Raising Luminaries
Igniting the next generation of kind & courageous leaders
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