Ashia Ray [they/them]
Ashia Ray is the Head Custodian of Infodumpery at Raising Luminaries, helping caregivers juggle advocacy and care work without losing their marbles.
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DISMANTLING SUPREMACY SERIES
When Do You Presume Incompetence?
Accountability group & family discussion prompts for raising the next generation of kyriarchy-smashers.
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Posts may contain affiliate links and sponsorships, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you.
Posts may contain affiliate links and sponsorships, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you.
Welcome to the Dismantling Supremacy Discussion Series
In this Collab Lab discussion series, we talk about supremacy culture and our responsibility to examine it within ourselves and our communities.
Connecting individual struggle & systemic inequality
The Role of Paternalism in Supremacy Culture
This work is best done in community: Join the Winter Incubator and Summer Luminator for space to work through this together.
When have you assumed you know better than someone about their own experience?
When has someone assumed you were too incompetent to make decisions about your own experience?
Growing up, who were you taught to believe ‘knew better’?
Who did the adults in your life teach you to obey without question?
Who had to prove competence before assuming authority?
Did you grow up seeing a connection between who was assumed competent, and who had to prove themselves?
How has your need for control kept you complicit in taking agency from others?
- In what ways do you take responsibility without being asked?
- In which spheres of life do you step in and take control automatically?
- How do you benefit from maintaining control?
- How are you harmed by maintaining control?
Who do you make decisions for?
What about your expertise and experience gives you authority?
What about your identity or positionality makes others defer to your authority?
What must those you have power over do in order for you to hand off control?
What if…
- …we presumed those who have less status and power than we do are competent to choose what’s best for themselves?
- …we worked toward equipping others with what they need for self-agency, rather than limiting their choices?
Relevant Resources
- Join the Winter Incubator – where we dig deeper into demolishing supremacist norms with anarchy calisthenics.
- Join the Summer Luminator to identify ways to contribute, amplify, or break advocacy, parenting, and career initiatives with enthusiasm and joy.
JOIN US
PARTNERS IN CAHOOTS
ACCOUNTABILITY
Raising Luminaries is rooted in the unceeded land of the Wampanoag & Massachusett People.
Land acknowledgements are worthless without action. So we prioritize amplifying Indigenous-lead resources in our toolkits and reciprocate with donations to the Wôpanaâk Language Reclaimation Project.
AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE
Ashia Ray & Raising Luminaries are participants in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and the Bookshop.org Affiliate Program, affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com, Bookshop.com, and affiliated sites.
Photographs via Unsplash & Illustrations via Storyset, used with permission.
©2014-2026 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.